The Space Between - Who You Were and Who You’re Becoming 🌘🌒

I’ve felt a little strange lately…

Not unhappy. Not necessarily lost. But as though some of the things that used to motivate me don’t have quite the same pull anymore.

And I’ve realised I’m not alone…

I’ve had conversations recently with friends who seem to be experiencing their own version of the same thing. That feeling of knowing something is shifting, without necessarily knowing what you’re shifting towards.

Perhaps that’s why the recent Leo solar eclipse resonated with me so deeply. 🌒

We often talk about transformation as though it’s exciting. We imagine closing one chapter and immediately opening another. A new purpose. A new passion. A new version of ourselves waiting conveniently on the other side.

But real change doesn’t always happen like that.

Sometimes there’s a space in between.

The old life, identity or desire has begun to loosen its grip, but whatever comes next hasn’t arrived yet, and that space can feel uncomfortable.

We’re so accustomed to asking ourselves: What’s next? What should I be doing? What am I working towards?

But perhaps there are times when we’re not supposed to know…

Perhaps the absence of an answer isn’t emptiness at all. Perhaps it’s simply space…

I’ve been thinking a lot about how much of our identity becomes attached to what we do.

Our careers. Our achievements. How productive we are. How much other people need us. The roles we play within our families. The things we’ve built. The people we’ve helped.

Even our spiritual growth can become another thing we’re trying to achieve.

And somewhere amongst all of that doing, we can forget the person underneath it…

Who am I when I’m not achieving something?

Who am I when nobody needs anything from me?

Who am I when I’m not explaining myself, proving myself or trying to make somebody else understand me?

And perhaps the most uncomfortable question of all:

Who am I when I have absolutely nothing to prove?

That question stopped me. 🛑

Because how much energy do we spend trying to be understood by people who may never understand us?

How often do we measure ourselves through somebody else’s response?

How much power do we unknowingly hand to other people when we allow their approval, disappointment or opinion to determine how we feel about ourselves?

Maybe there comes a point when we simply don’t need to do that anymore…

We can create because creating feels good.

We can rest because we’re tired, rather than because we’ve finally done enough to deserve it.

We can say what we believe without needing everybody else to agree.

We can love without controlling the outcome.

We can change our minds.

And perhaps we can allow ourselves not to know what comes next…

There’s something incredibly freeing about the thought that we don’t always need to reinvent ourselves.

Sometimes transformation might simply mean shedding the versions of ourselves we created in order to survive, succeed, belong or be accepted.

And then waiting… ⏸️

Not desperately searching for the next identity to put on, but becoming curious about who we are underneath all of them.

Nature understands this far better than we do. 🌳

Nothing blooms continuously. There are periods of growth, periods of shedding and periods when, on the surface, very little appears to be happening.

Yet underneath, something is changing…

Perhaps some of us are in that space now.

I know I am…

Rather than rushing to fill it, I’m beginning to wonder whether the invitation is simply to experience it…

To stop asking, “What am I supposed to become next?”

And instead ask:

“Who am I when I no longer need to prove who I am?”

Maybe we don’t need the answer immediately.

Maybe living the question is enough for now…